Day Number One;

Today is the first day I am without my Soldier. I'm not gonna lie, last night was tough. It was the first time I had slept alone in the past 6 months, besides a night here and there when we would be away. But knowing that last night started the nights of MANY that I will be alone, made it really hard to fall asleep. I tossed and turned all night.
He's still at MEPS, which does in fact mean I can still talk to him. For the last day. Tomorrow morning my Soldier will be on a plane to Georgia. He will complete his bootcamp and AIT at Fort Benning. Which just for a little piece of mind, is OVER 2100 miles away from me. I'm scared. I'm terrified. All the things we used to do together, I will now do, alone.
I have a baby sister that slept in my bed with me last night, and when we woke up this morning she turns to me and says, "Sissy, play Angry Birds." I start playing Angry Birds and I keep missing. And having to restart. And continued to restart the same level over and over and over again. I started to remember, he would always beat the levels for me. And then I got to thinking. He used to do a lot for me that I will now have to conquer alone. He can no longer get my coffee, and burn my breakfast, and beat the levels I can't beat, and lay in bed with me all day and make funny faces, and make fun of me, and tackle me, and tell me I'm beautiful when I know I look like crap, and fall asleep with me, and wake up with me in the morning.
He sent me a text last night that not only made me cry, but made me see how much he really loves me:
"I'm still yours and always will be. I love you so much and never want to lose you. I'm sorry for putting you through this. Please don't hate me :("
At that moment, I felt SO selfish. But not only did I feel selfish, it hit me that he is the one. He will be the one I marry. I just have to get through these next 4 months. I just need to suck it up, and know that it's going to be EXTREMELY hard, but he's making this sacrifice for the both of us. He is the one enduring 4 months of hell for the both of us. So we can ultimately have and do all the things we want in life without having to struggle with minimum wage jobs we both hate.
So I guess I started this blog to maybe take my mind off of all the negativity, and focus more on the positivity. Because everyday I blog, gets me one step closer to being back in my soldiers arms again.